camels in the surf of 9-11

I stood on the cliffs

the water below

crashing over the rocks

receding into the sunset beyond
the water...the waves
left my eyes

I only saw sand

I could only stare in disbelief

I blinked once...twice...a third time

the sand began to roll like the ocean

in...crashing hard against a cliff of ocean

out... drifting with the wind

an oasis formed in the middle of the tide

a camel...no two or maybe three

the tide of the sand moved them out

the crash of a wave brought them back

I could not not look away

it drew me.. too them

the sand...the sea...the rocks below

the camels

beckoned me…called me

to the sands of the ocean

I learned to fly that day

at first ever so slow

free...floating with the wind

camels below laughing at me

faster I flew and then

the laughs of sand

burned my soul

and then

swimming…in the air

the camels were above me

in the clouds

running their lopsided run

rolling with the sand

surfing above the ocean

the camels came to take me home

a home in the oasis of hell

snafued again

in secret 

I tried to change

no one

not even a friend

was to know

for to fail

would cause me shame

and that

could not be

so when 

I succeeded 

with my change

I had not one to cheer me

and only 

my ego to blame

never noticed

the game played on

the pages turned

the ball moved 

the story grabbed

the fans yelled

the  reader sighed

the game was close

the final chapter tuned

no one asked

 who controlled the game

no one cared 

the authors name

the ref went home

the author slept

jobs well done

behind the action

woe is me

I took

some baby steps today

woe is me...returned

he dropped in

to control my will

I did  not resist

because

I have the right
to feel

sorry for myself

and strike back

yes...it's true
I took

some baby steps

today

the junk drawer

my love

has no value

anymore

and yet it's there

maybe someday

I will need it

I'll just

put it in a drawer

hoping

your love will

return

still

I haven' changed

I am who I was

when we met

okay...not my body

sure...not my mind

no...I don't do that anymore

still

I haven;t changed

I am who I was

when we met

okay...no more flowers

sure...I bought you things

no...I don't do that anymore

still

I haven't changed

I am who I was

when we met

okay...I kissed you

sure...I smiled

no...I don't do that anymore

still

I haven't changed

I am who I was

when we met

okay...I listened

sure...we made love

no... I don't do that anymore

still

oh there you are

I found a cloud driven by the wind

and climbed aboard

as we floated across the sky

I ask where we were going

the cloud said

it was headed somewhere

just over there

oh, I replied

can I stop to see a friend

sure...see a soul...a friend

a brother...your dad

and maybe even your mom

and they will

all be proud

that you came 

to visit them

on a cloud

I climbed aboard a clod

I climbed aboard a clod

I thought it was a cloud

that is what I dreamed for

I  expected  a soft floating trip

across the sky

but
 the clod

moved...not in a soft

rhythmic motion

it
hurtled like

a meteoric ball of fire

and
ended abruptly

against an adobe wall

leaving me

hurtling...falling

into an abyss below

lefty

fortress..I had one ...once

made it all by myself

for protection against

the black haired girl

that lived round the block

it did not work

I called her lefty

never missed

good thing 

it was only snow

dream away...be happy

Only in our dreams 

do we win the lottery

at least most of us

but one I knew...

won...a bunch

took home twenty-seven big ones

great...lived happily ever after

no..twas not quite the fairy tale

one would hope for

but maybe a tale of horror

maybe dreams shouldn't

come true

Maybe the dreams

are truly

what really makes

us happy