Richard & Kaye

This weekend I am going to bury my brothers ashes. We have a tree and a spot in the city park at Toquerville, Utah. Toquerville is a small town about 15 miles north of St. George. It is where our father was born and raised. I plan to say the following:

"At some point in our lives, Sadness has overcome us all. Either caused by a relative or close friend's death or from the girl who broke our heart. We all handle situations differently, some good, some bad. But what makes us who we are is not defined by our times of happiness, but by our times of sadness." Unknown When my mother died, they asked me to read her history. I said sure, I would love to. But when I tried to read it, I broke down and cried. I sobbed my way through the whole history. I do not think anyone understood I word I had read. I was somewhat embarrassed about breaking down. Men did not cry. But I did. When my sister Kaye passed away I did not say anything. I did not want to embarrass myself again. I have felt a deep sense of shame for not helping my sister to her home in heaven. As I waited in the hospital as my brother Richard lay dying, I understood how important it is for family to step forth and be there for their loved ones. I wrote the following some months after Richard passed away.

I wrote this poem for both Richard and Kaye

Where have you gone?

I miss you I keep searching for you in the dawn.

You left to fast. Our time together has slipped to the past.

I miss you I wish you could have stayed so our time together would last.

Where are you going to be.

because When I am through, I need to tell you what you meant to me.

S. Beatty

This poem is by an unknown Author. It says it much better than I can.

"I think of you often

and make no outward show,

But what it means to lose you,

no one will ever know.

You wished no one farewell,

not even said good-bye,

You were gone before I knew it,

and only God knows why.

You are not forgotten

nor will you ever be,

As long as life and memories last,

I will remember thee.

To some you may be forgotten,

to others a part of the past,

But to me who loved you dearly,

your memories will always last.

Nothing can be more beautiful

than the memories I have of you.

To me, you were someone special,

God must have thought so too!

If tears could build a staircase

and memories a lane,

I would walk all the way to Heaven,

and bring you back again." unknown