faster horses......horse pucky

Old Grizz, my super 3D alter ego, or as those who know me say "the only part of me that can write" ........(that's a long way around the bush) ........says "the only Philosophy that is worth a dam is from the song by Tom T Hall where the skinny cowboy says the best things in life are "faster horses. younger women, stronger whiskey and more money". Whew, that's a mouth full. Well I happen to know that at least the horse part is a bunch of hooey. You may get the faster horses but you have to know how to bet em. (if you don't bet em what does it matter if they are fast or not?). So as the old saying goes, "if you got em (fast horses) bet em" or something like that. So I did. An old track tout gave me 9 horses at Santa Anita and said if you want to make money "Parlay, young man, Parlay". Don't get excited. I didn't say, "party, party", I said , "parlay, parlay. So, knowing good advice when I hear it, I rushed right down to the corner phone booth and called a bookie I knew. Gimmy $200 on "old john in the first, parlay that to "old Mary" in the 2nd, old Henry in the third, old pud nuts in the 4th and old Ginny in the 5th and make it for every dam horse to win. You notice how I go for the "old" horses. Well, john won, Mary won. Henry won, pud nuts won and my heart was about to burst, but what burst instead was my ego............ Ginny lost. Lesson learned? Not me! I went for the last four. Gimmy $200 on Big Dan in the 6th and (of course parlay, I had only parlayed once and parlay, parlay means twice), Big Bubba in the 7th, Big Horace in the 8th and finally Big Donald (playing my Trump horse) in the 9th and every every dam horse to win. Did you notice I changed to "Big" horses. OK, here we go again. Dan won, Bubba won and Horace won, but my "Trump" horse was a true "Beetle Bomb". ....My Trump horse was a loser. The point of this whole story? Faster horses is not the answer to a better life............. I had 7 winners and 2 seconds and lost $400 bucks. Next week I'll get into the younger women thing. That otta be a hooter.