Finally I belong.

I still remember how I felt as I walked onto my high school campus in my Song Leading uniform the first day of my Senior year. At last, I thought to myself. Finally I belong. I have the right to stand in the area of the quad where all the popular kids stand without feeling like a leper. The other kids smiled at me and said hi and allowed me into their circles as they talked and laughed. All I really wanted from high school was to be a Song Leader. I had tried out all three years and made it my last year. I had also made the try outs to become a Los Angeles Rams Song Leader. I was finally worthy of my peers attention and adoration. I wasn't wealthy enough to wear the right clothes or be asked to join the right sorority. I wasn't pretty enough to be asked out by the most popular boys. I wasn't important enough to be included in any club just because I had the right name or my dad had the right job. I had worked so hard to be worthy of their adoration. But then that had been the story of my life from the day I was born. Perform. Perform LoRee and maybe you will be accepted. Maybe your mother will love you enough to come and take you back from your grandmother to live with her. Perform LoRee and maybe the couple you live with will love you enough to adopt you. Perform, and maybe they will keep you once they do adopt you. Perform and maybe the boys will like you. It's very tiring to be have to perform constantly. But, if you need to be loved bad enough, you keep auditioning no matter what, in hopes of pleasing your audience, whoever that might be at the time. Thank God I finally found an audience of one who only asked that I love Him. I no long have to perform to be accepted and loved. I am loved for who I am and I perform out of pure joy. Praise God.