Storms of Life - Stan

Accept the day, do not panic

STORMS BEHIND – STORMS AHEAD

This is a 3rd edited version after discussing the use of quotations and proper dialogue writing with Amy

One never knows when life will reach up and slap you in the face or go even lower and kick you right square in the groin  One day you’re cruising along in high gear and everything is beautiful. The morning coffee tastes great and breakfast is lying warm and wonderful in the bottom of your stomach.

But life never waits for you to finish your coffee and the breakfast to settle. The phone rings and you answer with a song in your voice. The voice on the other end of the phone is not so warm and wonderful. "Mr. Beatty?" the voice questions.  "Yes," I reply. "This is Mr. Johnson from Savanna High School. Would it be possible for you and your wife to come in for a conference about Ben?"  he asks.

The coffee turns bitter and the breakfast begins to churn. "Sure," I reply. "What’s the problem?"  "We believe Ben is using drugs" is his reply.

The shock hits. The denial begins. The coffee goes cold. The breakfast rumbles. I mumble, "when would you like us to be there?" The answer is fast and simple. Mr. Johnson is courteous and replies, “The sooner the better”. 

Ben is in school and my wife, Nancy, has just left for work. I call Nancy’s work and leave a message to meet me at the school.

My mind is spinning. My son is using drugs? I don’t believe it. How could that be? I meet Nancy in Mr. Johnson office. The meeting is short. Mr. Johnson informs us that Ben has not been seen using drugs. It’s his attitude. It is the way he sasses teachers. He has all the signs. They cannot test him but believe we should. "How do you do that?" we ask.

Ben denies the accusations. "Not me dad," he says with conviction. "Well maybe," I reply. "But it won’t hurt to have you tested." "Just to make sure," I add.

We made an appointment for 5:00. On the way for the test Ben is silent. About half way there he has a small confession. "Dad," he says, in a small voice. "I have smoked some weed." There’s a moment of silence and then I ask, "how much and when?" "Only a joint at Jimmy’s house two weeks ago." he whispers. "OK," I reply. "We’ll see what the test says."

 Nancy is silent. Ben is my son. Nancy is there to help and support but she wants me to take care of this problem. Any punishment coming from her will not have the same affect that it would if it came from me. I agree. I have to be the primary one to deal with this one.

The hospital is very efficient and the results from the test confirm the drug use but it is worse than Ben wants to admit. He is smoking more than one joint in a two week period. "It is not easy to tell the usage but it was steady," the technician said. "Also, there are signs of other drugs," he adds.  "I will need  more time to analyze the tests."

"OK," I say.  "What do we do now?"  The technician suggests “Tough Love”.

"Well dad," Ben asks on the way home. "What are you going to do?" I had no idea. What do you do with a sixteen year old son that is using drugs?

My mind went to a back to a punishment I received for a minor infraction when I was in the Air Force. Waiting to find out what form of punishment was worse than the punishment. I decided to let him stew.

That evening Ben and I had a long discussion about drugs and drug use.  I explained the trouble that they caused and that  I loved him and could not allow the drugs to continue.  We discussed a form of punishment and course of action

We decided he would be on Dad arrest. I kept him out of school for two weeks and basically tied to my pant leg. He went where I went. I talked to his teachers and got homework for him to keep up in school.

We went to “Tough Love” and started a program. He attended sessions Tuesday and Thursday nights and Saturdays. Nancy and I went one night a week on Wednesday with other troubled parents. He was tested once a week for drug use. He was on house and school arrest for 6 months. I took him to school and I picked him up.

The most important thing that I did was in that first two weeks. We spent hours together talking and getting to know how each of us felt. I did not threaten him. I talked to him. We discussed what the program was going to be. He agreed to the program. I did not have to drag him kicking and screaming to “Tough Love”

Did I succeed? Did he turn into an “angel”? I think I succeeded in stopping the drug activity. He did not turn into an angel but he did graduate from high school. He chose to join the Marines. He is now living in West Virginia and has two daughters. I am proud of him.

Last month life groin slapped me again. My coffee was great and the sweet role was lying warm and wonderful in the bottom of my stomach. The phone rang. It was my daughter. "Dad," she sobbed.  "We have found out that Brittany is using drugs."

Brittany is my sixteen year old granddaughter.

The coffee turns bitter and the breakfast begins to churn. The shock hits. The denial begins. The coffee goes cold. The sweet roll rumbles. I mumble, "what are you going to do?"

They have not asked me for any advice. I just listen. They have put her in some kind of 90 day facility. I think it is a mistake. My daughter is divorced and remarried. She is going to school to become a nurse. She does not seem to have time for Brittany.

Brittany’s father is remarried with a two year old daughter. He does not seem to have time for Brittany.

The only people that have time for Brittany are a 90 day rehab facility.

Will she bond and find love and caring from a 90 day rehab facility? 

I doubt it.