yah sure - Stan

A re-written and edited prompt that I wrote in the 20 minute timed exercise in class on March 9, 2010


Dialogue

Why does it always happen to me?

It happens to all of us but I kept asking myself, “why does it happen to me?”

I was fuming. The CHP dude was walking towards the back of my car. I was upset and my mind was going a thousand miles a minute. I thought I know dam well they are after me. They have to be after me. I know they are following me. It cannot be by mere chance that I keep getting caught. What are the odds of getting stopped 6 times in this month alone? He was still coming, grinning like a Cheshire cat. His grin was even wider and toothier than the last jerk that stopped me.

Good evening Sir. Yea, sure I thought. Maybe it’s good for you but it dam well isn’t good for me.

I’m sorry sir, he said but you were going a little over the speed limit. Yea, yea my mind fumed. I bet you’re sorry. If I believed that I would order the Brooklyn Bridge shipped to California from New York.

You were doing seventy five in a seventy zone. My mind was spinning but now my mouth was working overtime. Seventy five in a seventy, I spit out? You have to be kidding. You’re radar isn’t that accurate.

Well sir, he replied, I am sorry you do not believe me but the radar is accurate. You can plead your case to the judge. Dam, my mouth said, now you’re sorry again. You can dam well be assured I’ll tell it to the judge. In fact I’m going to scream it right into his fat ruddy cheeks. I know that fat jerk. You had better believe I’ll tell him. Give me the dam ticket and I’ll get the hell out of here.

No sir, he replied, my partner is checking your record. You will have to wait. My mouth wouldn’t stay shut. Checking, I yelled? Checking for what? Checking my record? You can’t be serious. What if I decide to leave?

Sir, I am going to ask to get out of your car, he said. You are under arrest. You’re arresting me? What for? You and what army? Are you going to draw that gun? Yeah, you’re a big man with the gun, I said. Get rid of that gun and I’ll whip your ass,

Sir, turn around and place your hands behind your back, he ordered. My mouth had to keep moving. Turn around, I said? Hand Cuffs? Now you’re really joking. You’re arresting me for doing seventy five in a seventy? A dam murderer would get more respect that you’re giving me.

Sir, get in the back of the patrol car, he said. Now I was just babbling. I can’t sit in the back with my hands cuffed behind me. That’s tough I heard him say. Tough, I screamed; wait until I see my lawyer. I’ll get your skinny ass fired.

As I was being drive to the police station, my mind was saying, “Why does it always happen to me?

S. Beatty/March 2010