First Five Days, Travel Journal

I just got back from a 15 day cruise to Hawaii and thought I'd share part of my journal. We are not seasoned, world travelers and it will be obvious that I am not particularly suited for "cruising". I kept this journal for a friend who said she would probably never go on a cruise and wanted to live it through my eyes so I wrote it as if I was talking to her: Travel Journal April 1st, 2009 Our car and driver showed up 45 minutes early, Jon was out talking to the neighbors, I had to call him on his cell phone, and I was completely flustered. The driver parked his big old black town car in our neighbor’s car port, I was afraid he would come home and it would be a problem so I started madly dragging suitcases out to the porch while Jon got dressed. The driver was from Lebanon, I think that’s what he said, he had a wonderful accent, lots of curly black hair and fantastic long eye lashes. He wore a tie and dark jacket; he looked like a very formal chauffer and was distressed when he saw me dragging all six suitcases to the porch. He kept trying to get me to leave it, he wanted to take care of it for me but I kept dragging, worried about my neighbor. So much for the sophisticated world traveler! Jon came out and got in the act, I reached for the car door handle and the driver almost broke his neck rushing to open it for me. This is not at all how I imagined it would be. We are finally both seated in the plush leather of the back seat, the driver still doesn’t leave, he turns to tell us that our credit card was refused and he’ll need another. Oh swell! Jon is indignant, we owe nothing on the card, we’ve never been denied, someone must have entered the number incorrectly, all true but the driver has obviously heard all of this before, he is polite, I thrush my Visa at him and tell him to just charge that card instead. He does, we are finally on our way. April 2nd Somewhere in the pacific, we left Los Angeles Harbor about 4:30 yesterday afternoon; we are heading for Hawaii, first stop still four days away. The ship is beautiful; our cabin is nice we have a mini-suite with a private balcony. I imagined I would sit on said balcony and read each of the three books I purchased for the trip and write pages upon page in the two notebooks I brought along. The sun would shine by day and the sky would be lightened by hundreds of thousands of stars by night or so I imagined. Jon is taking a nap now, he’s sick. He came down with a sinus infection the day before the trip. He has antibiotics; we are hoping it will soon run its course. I am sitting on the small sofa; it is much too cold and windy to sit outside. Maybe tomorrow I’ll sit outside. Last night was rough. There were no stars, the sky was covered with clouds until the gale force winds started to blow, and they say they were blowing 50 miles per hour with gusts much higher. The sea churned and white caps were everywhere. We slept off and on, not well at all. Today we tried going to a lecture on the history of the hula. We weren’t up for it, we really didn’t care what her “lovely hula hands” were saying, and we cut out early, heading back to the cabin. It really is ok though, it’s quiet and I love the quiet. I have books and paper and my MP3 player, I glance out at the sea that is as gray as the sky it reflects. When Jon wakes up we will order an assortment of sandwiches and a pot of coffee from Room Service. Since we’ve left Los Angeles we have been eating on an average of once every two hours, if we get through this cruise without a diabetic comma or cardiac arrest, it will be a miracle. After the sandwiches we plan to dress for dinner and venture out to the dining room. Maybe tomorrow the sun will shine and the winds will all be behind us and I will care about the history of the hula and the intricacies of Hawaiian flower leis. Nah, probably not but still it is good to be here. They have close circuit television in the room I watch old re-runs of “The Love Boat” and to-night they will show Elvis in Blue Hawaii over and over again through out the night. Jon’s planning on going to the casino to play poker; I plan on curling up with Elvis. April 3rd Sitting on the same small sofa but this time with the sliding glass door wide open; the sky is gray but a couple of shades lighter than yesterdays, the sea is just moderately choppy today and the breeze is brisk but bearable. We took sleeping pills and caught up on our sleep last night; I have already drained my first pot of room service coffee and ate several buttered croissants. I’m thinking about getting dressed and going up to the 14th deck for a buffet breakfast. We ate dinner last night in the formal dining room. We were placed at a table with a party of four. Dinner was served by a whole army of waiters and the combination of dusting off my best table manners and making small talk with strangers was challenging for a crusty old hermit like me. The people at our table were nice, not snobbish, really, but they were very well traveled. The food itself was outside of my realm of experience. There were so many choices to make but each course was tiny and presented on a plate decorated with a sprig of this and a dab of that. There was hardly a taste, often not enough to even decide if I liked it or not. Jon was so confused by the menu, he just pointed to something and ended up with raw fish, sushi. He hates sushi so spent the next 20 minutes or so pushing it around his plate while waiting for the next course, I think he got some sort of pot roast dish made of buffalo and my main course was a seafood dish in a cream sauce. I loved the sauce and most of the sea food but the squid was weird looking and very tough. When I finally got a small piece cut off I chewed and chewed and then just washed it down with a gulp of water. This was way too much work for way too little food and all under the microscope of strangers and elitist waiters with foreign accents that I could hardly understand at all. Truly excruciating! Tonight is formal night; we must dress to the nines. We have reservations in a specialty restaurant (that means it costs extra but we can sit alone). Jon enjoys this so much more than I and that is really strange because he is very quiet; he has hardly any small talk at all. In his ideal world I would chat and laugh and twitter and he would sit back and smile, nod and eat. Horrors! April 4th, Saturday Each day the seas are calmer, the air is warmer. The sky is only partly cloudy this morning. The days are getting longer, when we left Los Angeles we gained an hour, last night we gained another. We will gain at least one more, maybe two? I’m confused, there is a four hour difference but they don’t do daylight savings time but we do so that means? I haven’t got a clue. During the night they slide the “Princess Patter” under our door, the ships newsletter that lists an amazing amount of activities that are scheduled for the next 24 hour period. There is nothing I want to do or watch, I am content with my books, the sea and, of course, the food. We eat snacks and meals throughout the day and then lavish dinners that cause stomach distress due to the late hour and rich food. That was certainly the case last night. Last night was the first of the formal nights and we did our best to comply. Jon wore a dark navy suit jacket and pants with a white shirt and a conservative striped tie. I have a pair of evening pants, you know the black flowy things that almost look like a long skirt; I topped it with an equally flowy black and silver chiffon top, it is long and forgiving but even so I wore the most stern and punishing undergarments. Namely, an black under wire bra and something called spanxs to cover, tame and de-jiggle the rest of me, a sort of elastic undergarment the covers everything from thighs to midriff, I pulled it right up to the bottom of my punishing bra. It took a great deal of time and unreasonable effort to get into these garments; I was pushed, cinched and compacted within an inch of life. Thus dressed, we waddled down to Sabatini’s one of the two specialty restaurants on board. We were able to sit blissfully along in a booth with extra pillows for our backs. There were an entire army of waiters once again, we chose only our entrée everything else was served to us and when say “everything” I mean everything. There were eighteen courses. Some were small but, eighteen? The plates and silverware were constantly being changed, the waiters placed the napkins in our laps and served and described each course, throughout the meal we were served by, I think six to seven waiters, and it was a parade of pomp and ceremony. They started with antipasto, an incredible variety of cold meats, olives, marinated vegetables and pickled mushrooms, there were two plates in all of cold appetizers, then came the hot appetizers and then three kinds of pasta, then soup and salad with a large basket of breads and thin slices of pizza. Finally our main dish, I had a shrimp dish in a rich cream sauce and Jon had Lobster tail. After that was suppose to be coffee, after dinner drinks and desserts but we called a halt, we had been eating constantly for two hours and I feared a violent reaction. They arranged to have our dessert delivered to our cabin and we waddled out, I, leaning heavily on Jon’s arm. We reached our cabin and I fairly exploded out of my undergarments. There are still two more formal nights on the trip back and here’s my plan, we will dress in whatever fits us comfortably at the time (I’m thinking a muumuu, no underwear) and then we eat early in the buffet and after, sit ourselves down in the pavilion level and sip tropical drinks and just people watch as they parade by on their way to all the formal dining venues. I can’t wait, it will be perfect! It is still April 4th I have been participating in negative thinking again. I’m very very good at it; it is wonderful to find something that I am truly talented at. Even so, I am concerned, all this negativity will surely throw a wet blanket on Jon’s “cruise experience” if I don’t at least try to rein it in a bit. Right here and now, I will list ten very cool things about this cruise. The food is delicious and plentiful (can that count as two things? No, I suppose not) Our stateroom is a nice size I can stay here and not feel closed in. Our private balcony is small but has two chairs that recline and two upright chairs that we use as foot rests plus a small table. It is all that we need. The color of the sea is deep midnight blue; I would like to buy something that color, a blouse and maybe a pair of earrings. The breeze is now light and refreshing but not cold. I can wear almost anything and still be comfortable. There are lots decks, seventeen in all and if I were so inclined I could walk them all, or at least most of them. By the way, I am not so inclined. I got the last jelly donut at the breakfast buffet. Coffee is plentiful and always fresh. A string quartet plays in the atrium every evening. Lots of the cruise personnel and passengers have English, Australian and various European accents that I adore eavesdropping on. I people watch and eavesdrop with fervor of an Olympic Sport. Sunday April 5th This is the last full day at sea. Tomorrow morning we dock in Hilo on the Island of Hawaii and we have reserved a rental car. It will be a big adventure but today is another day at sea. During the night we crossed the tropic of cancer, I woke up at 6:00 am and felt the tropical breeze and I knew instantly that something had changed. I went out on my balcony in my nightgown and looked up at dark stormy-looking clouds and felt a warm breeze, I knew I was in a tropical zone. The clouds are gone now and sea is still a deep blue but more of a sapphire color today. It’s time to complain, how can I give you a true account if I don’t share my grumbles and complaints? I simply must! I have not seen even one fish, dolphin, shark, or whale or any living thing in this sea. We saw so much wonderful sea life on our way to Mexico; I just assumed there would be as much if not more. Not even a minnow in a warm sea the color sapphires. This should not be. I should see a mermaid or King Neptune himself. Cruising is super Hokie and that is as it should be. The re-runs of Love Boat, the shuffleboard and the Hula lessons, all kinds of silliness none of which I take part in but still, it seems to me that it is the right thing for everybody else to do. It is like walking around in a play, a sort of two-dimensional charade that I observe from the inside without really participating in. Another complaint: My neighbors are on their balcony, they are talking to each other and I HATE it. I want to sit on my balcony, read my book and soak up the sea air totally alone. We can’t see each other but we are practically shoulder to shoulder. I hear every murmur, every throat clearing, and every conversation. To add insult to injury, they are boring. They really should not talk at all; they should be controlled by an anti-air pollution law. Nothing they say is funny, edifying or scandalous. By contrast, a melodic bell rings and the captain broadcasts his noon report from the bridge. The report consists of location and weather information and I hang on his every word as he speaks with his yummy English, oh-so-cultured accent. I guess it’s true what they say, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it”. Three Wishes 1. I wish I had a yummy English accent 2. I wish a porpoise or dolphin or even a large tuna would jump from the sea to welcome me to the Tropic of Cancer. 3. I wish one of my neighbors would fall overboard so the other one would have no-one to talk to. Failing that, I wish they would go to lunch.